Sticking With The Fat Boy
by PrincessMangled
Summary: This is Clinging To The Fat Boy's sequel. In this story, Cartman and AJ get into mischief and experience relationship ups and downs and Stan, Kyle, and Kenny get to listen and experience it. AJ's cousin Lana moves to town and is being shown around by Butters and AJ's sister Cassandra, makes a bet with Cartman. Rated T for language. Ships: Creek, Cartman/OC, Hints of Style
1. Chapter 1

**Did everyone miss me? XD sorry I've been busy and had a lot of stuff to do but now I can finally find time to write fanfics again lol. I promised you a sequel and your damn right I'm gonna give you one. In this sequel I have been collaborating with my friend and I am working her OC into the story as well. You may have noticed I deleted Summer Days because I felt that sequel was not good enough so this will be the official sequel. There will be AJ and Cartman, but there will be other things as well too.**

Kyle and Stan were walking down the block. They were heading over to see Butters because Butters mentioned how he wanted to show them a new video game he just got.

"Remind me why the hell are we even going to see Butters?" Asked Stan.

"I think he got that new Smash Bros game." Replied Kyle.

"Oh then that makes sense...okay dude you know the rules."

"What rules?"

"The Smash rules dude, meaning don't cheat and use Game and Watch."

"I thought it was don't cheat and use Kirby."

"Really guys!? I thought it was don't be a fucking dick and choose Ness or Lucas." Cartman shouted from behind.

"DAMN IT CARTMAN DON'T FUCKING SNEAK UP ON US!" Shouted Kyle.

"I'll do what I want Keel."

"So Cartman, where's AJ?" Stan asked.

"Oh yeah she told me she was super busy today and I checked and made sure it was her voice and not her damn sister's."

"Wait! How can you che- you know what, never mind." Kyle said.

"Hey guys." Kenny said as he approached the boys.

"Hey Kenny." The boys replied.

"You going to see Butters?"

"Yeah." Stan replied. "He invited you too?"

"Yep."

The four boys walked towards Butter's house and stopped and looked down the street and saw a moving truck at AJ's house.

"Well shit Cartman look." Kyle said pointing to the moving truck

"OH THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!" Cartman shouted. "SHE WOULD HAVE FUCKING TOLD ME!" Cartman began to run as fast as his fatass could let him run and banged on the door. The door was opened by Cassandra.

"Oh God do you like ever go away?" She said.

"WHERE'S YOUR FUCKING SISTER!?" Cartman shouted.

"I would tell you, but then again why should I?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe it's because WE ARE FUCKING TOGETHER!"

"Ugh look, if this is about the fucking moving truck calm your shit. We are unfortunately not moving away."

"Then what is the moving truck here for?" Stan asked as he arrived with Kyle and Kenny.

"Well...I suppose I can tell you." Cassandra replied.

"Then tell us!" Cartman yelled.

"Pff I'm not telling you. I'm telling Stan, Kyle, and Kenny fuck you."

"TELL ME YOU BITCH!"

"Cartman...shut up." Stan sighed.

"Okay so why is the moving truck here?" Kenny asked. Cassandra whispered into Kenny's ear, then Kyle's, and then Stan's.

"Really?" Kyle asked.

"Yep it's true." Cassandra responded.

"Well that explains a lot." Kenny said. "Well, thanks for telling us."

"Yeah sure whatever." Cassandra responded while shutting the door. After the door shut, Cartman turned to his friends and gave them a look.

"What fatass?" Kyle asked.

"Are you gonna fucking tell me or not?" Cartman asked.

"About what?"

"DAMMIT KAHL YOU KNOW WHAT! WHY IS THE FUCKING MOVING TRUCK HERE!?"

"I'm not telling you fatass."

"Fine, Stan?"

"No way dude find out for yourself." Stan replied.

"...Kinny?" Cartman asked Kenny.

"No fucking way, if AJ didn't tell you, then she didn't want you to know. You'll probably find out later." Kenny firmly stated.

"You know what, fuck you guys let's just go play Smash already." The boys left for Butter's house and as they crossed the street the front door of AJ's house opened. It was AJ.

"Hey Cassandra? Was there anyone here?" She asked.

"No." Cassandra replied.

"Oh okay." AJ shut the door.

At Butter's house the boys played many games of Smash Bros. Not only were the four main boys there, but Tweek and Craig were there too. Throughout all the smash rounds, Cartman didn't win once.

"HA! You suck at smash, Fatass!" Kyle laughed.

"Well Kahl, at least I wasn't cheating." Cartman replied.

"What do you mean? I didn't use Ness, Lucas, Kirby, or Game and Watch."

"Yeah, but you used Rosalina."

"How is using her cheating?"

"That fucking star takes all the damage instead of her."

"Whatever."

"Now fellas let's not get into a huge fight." Butters said. "If that happens, I could get grounded."

"AGH!" exclaimed Tweek. "Let's not get Butters in trouble...it's too much pressure on me to get someone in trouble."

"Hey guys look who's walking out of AJ's house?" Craig shouted from the window. Cartman jumped up and ran to the window and pushed Craig aside.

"Owe." Craig said in his non emotional voice. He then flicked Cartman off but Cartman didn't seem to even notice. Coming out of AJ's house was AJ and a girl her age with brown fluffy hair. She wore a purple newsboy hat, a purple jacket, a blue scarf, a blue skirt with purple leggings.

"Who the fuck is that!?" He shouted.

"Oh so that must be Lana." Kenny said.

"Who the fuck is Lana?"

"You didn't know Eric?" Butters stated. "That's AJ's cousin. AJ told me last week she was moving in."

"What!? She told you and not me?"

"Well...I guess so, Eric."

"THAT'S BULLSHIT! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST TO KNOW!"

"Cartman, cool your shit." Craig said.

"NO!" He responded. Before Eric could say more, the doorbell rang down stairs. Butter's mom answered the door.

"Oh hi, AJ." She said. "Come on in. Oh and this must be Lana."

"Yeah this is my super dooper awesome cousin." AJ responded.

"Well Butters and everyone are upstairs."

"Thank you, Mrs. Stoch." AJ dragged her cousin up the stairs and was greeted by Butters who opened the door.

"Hey AJ." he said.

"Hey there brother from another mother." She replied. Lana didn't say anything, she was very nervous being in a new town. "So Lana this is Butters. Over there are Craig, Tweak, Kyle, Kenny, Stan, and that's Car Car."

"Wait," Lana said. "That one's your...you know."

"Yeah I guess you were expecting someone more attractive and less of a fatass." Kyle said giggling. Upon hearing this, Stan began to laugh a little too.

"SHUT YOUR JEW MOUTH KAHL!" Cartman responded. "and Stan you shut up too." Lana just went dead silent as AJ showed no response to this. Lana was confused on how AJ just stands there smiling and not acknowledging that the guy she liked was acting like a total asshole.

"Well ummmm hi." Lana said. "I'm Lana and ughhhh-"

"-She's super happy to be moving here and living with me and my sister!" AJ interrupted.

"Yeah what AJ said."

"OH WOW YOU GOT THE NEW SMASH BROS!?" AJ shouted in excitement. "I WANNA PLAY!"

"Careful AJ, I might kick your ass." Cartman said.

"Oh please." Kyle said. "He lost all of the rounds we played with him."

"Well he could beat me you never know." giggled AJ. "Then again, I could win too."

"You are on AJ!" Cartman said.

"This should be good." Craig said.

"AGH..." Tweek said.

"Calm down Tweak. Just sit back and watch the show." Craig then put his hand on Tweek's shoulder.

As Cartman and AJ were playing smash, Lana slipped off to the side and sat alone. Butters then came over to her.

"Do you need some company?" He asked.

"Ugh...sure." Lana said.

"So your AJ's cousin?"

"Yes."

"Soooo what do you think of Colorado?"

"Well it is really cold around here. My mom said I have to wear my hat to bed because she thinks I'll catch damn cold or something." Butters laughed. "What's so funny?"

"Well ugh, I think we could really be good friends."

"Friends?"

"Yeah."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course you can."

"Well...I never really had any friends. You see, AJ is so optimistic and positive that she can make friends with even the rudest of people and I guess that happened with her and this Eric Cartman. I'm the person who stands in the corner."

"Well why not change that?"

"What do you mean?"

"It means you and I can be friends and I can help you make more." Butters smiled which was contagious because Lana began to smile.

"HA CARTMAN LOST TO A GIRL!" Kyle laughed.

"Oh guys don't be so mean to him." AJ responded. "In a way, I kinda cheated because I used Kirby."

"Yeah Kahl!" Cartman said.

"Dude it was fair you used Ness which is also considered cheating." Kyle replied.

"Yeah so you were evenly matched." Stan added.

"Shut up, Stan!" Cartman shouted.

"Whatever Cartman, you can deny it all you want. But you did lose." Kyle stated.

"Guys just stop." Kenny said. "It's a fucking game."

"Ummm are those four boys always like this?" Lana asked Butters.

"Yeah Kyle, Kenny, Stan, and Cartman get into it all the time." Butters responded.

"But in the end, they're still friends." Craig said.

"I always wonder...AGH...why..." Tweek added.

"It must be a pretty strong friendship." Lana said.

"Yeah...that's probably it." Butter said.

Later that night, AJ and her cousin said their goodbyes and went home. As the two girls walked into the house, they were greeted by AJ's mother.

"Hey you two." She said.

"Hi mom!" AJ happily said.

"Did you introduce your cousin to your friends?"

"Yes mom."

"Good. Lana you will be sharing a room with AJ for now on. We got all of your things in the room so you are all set. Your parents room is next to Cassandra's room."

U"Okay thanks for telling me." Lana said.

"No problem now off to bed the two of you. You have school tomorrow."

"Got it mom!" AJ said.

That night, Lana actually did sleep well. She knew that maybe she could have a better life in this new town after all, she had a brand new friend.

The next morning Lana and AJ walked into Mr. Garrison's class together. Lana sat down in a desk at the back of the room because that was the only desk that was not taken and fortunately it was right behind Butters. AJ skipped to her desk and sat down. Her and Cartman began to whisper things to each other. Butters turned around in his seat.

"Hi Lana." he said.

"Oh hi." she responded.

"I know the first day is hard, but just remember we are friends. I even added you on Facebook." Lana checked her phone and noticed he did send her a friend request. She immediately added him and smiled.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"Okay students sorry I'm late." Mr. Garrison said walking in. "There was a bunch of damn traffic and crap so I do apologize for being late, but not really." After that, Mr. Garrison made Lana stand up to talk about herself because obviously the new student fucking had to. Lana sat back down and began to listen to Garrison's lecture.

Finally lunch came around Kenny, Kyle, and Stan sat at the table on one side while Butters and Lana sat on the other side.

"Dude, have you seen AJ and Cartman?" Kyle asked.

"Not since class." Stan responded. "Lana did you see anything?"

"No." Lana replied.

Before anything else was said, Cassandra walked by with a lunch box.

"Have any of you seen my sister?"

"No." They all replied.

"Shit...where's that disgraceful asshole boyfriend of hers?"

"Missing too." Stan said.

"SHIT! This must mean they're with each other, god it makes me sick. Here just give this to her when you see her." Cassandra handed the lunch box to Butters and walked away.

While this was happening it was true, AJ and Cartman were together. Of course this was one of Cartman's schemes and it was the first time he took AJ with him.

"Okay AJ, today you and I are going to play a prank on Garrison."

"Cool." AJ responded. "What are we gonna do?! Tell me! Tell me!"

"AJ shhh you shhh."

"I'm sorry." AJ whispered. "I've never pulled a prank on anyone before and I'm just so excited. Especially because I'm doing this with you." AJ hugged him and Cartman blushed, but then immediately stopped and faced AJ with a serious face.

"Okay AJ let's not get distracted, we have work to do."

"Right." AJ said. "Just tell me what I need to do sir."

Back at the lunch table, Kyle was beginning to think something was up.

"Dude seriously...where the fuck are they?" Kyle said.

"Its been like 7 minutes Kyle..." Kenny said. "Stop worrying."

"Yeah and why do you even care?" Stan asked.

"Because I'm concerned for AJ."

"Don't worry Kyle. She's fine." Lana said. "See there they are." Cartman and AJ were laughing as they approached the lunch table.

"Alright I'll bite." Kyle said. "What did you two do?"


	2. Chapter 2

"What are you talking about Kyle?" Cartman said with a smirk.

"Were you planning to pull a prank on Garrison?" Kyle asked raising an eyebrow.

"Why does that matter to you Kyle!? Mind your damn Jew business!"

"Guys...just shut up." Kenny sighed while rolling his eyes. "Can I eat my lunch in peace today?"

"Yeah." Stan added. "Can we not have to listen to you two argue today?"

"Fine." Kyle and Cartman said.

"Thank you." Kenny responded.

"Damn, Kinny. Lately, you've been sounding like you have something up your ass." Cartman said.

"Nothing is up my ass." Kenny said. "I just haven't gotten any sleep lately."

"Why?" Lana asked.

"My parents have been keeping me up all night. They have been fighting a lot more then usual."

"You see Lana," Cartman said. "Keeny's parents are poor so they spend money on drugs and alcohol and they always fight over it. They are what we call, white trash." Upon hearing this, Kenny gave Cartman a really dirty look.

"So what does everyone have for lunch?" AJ said opening her lunch box. She completely spaced out the whole entire conversation. Everyone just looked at AJ in confusion. "What?" She asked.

"Nothing AJ." Cartman said. "Here take this money and go buy me pizza."

"Okay." AJ got up and left and that is when Kyle looked at Cartman with a glare.

"Really Cartman?" He asked.

"What?"

"Your fatass could have gotten up and got your own fucking pizza."

"Shut up, Kahl!"

"What did we just talk about!?" Kenny shouted.

"Not to fight at the table today." The two said.

"That's right."

AJ came back with Cartman's food and sat down again. Kyle was still glaring at Cartman and Cartman was glaring back.

"So..." Lana said trying to shift the conversation. "I have a question, what do us kids usually do around here?"

"Well..." AJ said. "There's sports...which I kinda suck at. Butters do you remember that time I tried out to be a cheerleader?" Butters, who had remained silent for awhile to avoid getting involved in the constant bickering started to laugh.

"Oh yeah that was funny!" He responded. "I remember you doing a cartwheel and falling on your ass."

"Remember when I tried out for the volley ball team?" AJ added.

"I do remember that one, AJ." Kyle responded. "You hit Wendy in the face with the ball and then managed to break a window in the process." Everyone started to laugh except Stan.

"That was not funny guys." Stan said. "Wendy had a black eye for a couple days."

"Oh boo hoo." Cartman said. "You're only saying that because she's your girlfriend." With that being said, Stan shut his mouth. "But AJ," Cartman continued. "I remember you were good at skating that one time at Starks Pond."

"Huh?" AJ said with a confused look.

"Yeah I saw you doing all kinds of tricks don't lie."

"Car-Car...I fell on my butt like ten times that day when you broke your leg."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Stan, Kyle, Butters, Kenny, and AJ responded.

"You didn't see dude?" Stan asked.

"I remember helping AJ up many times that day." Butter stated.

"Well guys, fatass must have been having a love sick fantasy." Kyle said with a smirk. AJ let out a smirk, but quickly covered her mouth to hide it.

"Kahl, you know what I would be doing if I didn't agree to not fighting with you at the table today?" Cartman stated. "I would get out of my seat and kick you so hard in your Jew nuts that you would never be able to sit down again."

"I'm sure you would, Cartman." Kyle said sarcastically. Lana let out a smile and said,

"Good one, Ky!" Kyle turned to face Lana. "Good sarcasm." Lana raised her hand and Kyle and her exchanged high fives. Butters smiled because he now was noticing that Lana was beginning to come out of her shell.

The bell rang for recess and the kids all went outside.

"So..." Lana said to AJ. "I never got my question fully answered."

"Oh sorry, Lana." AJ said. "There are many things to do in South Park. You can go see a movie, visit Tweek's parents coffee shop, there's some restaurants, there's the park, and there's even a place where you can get a nose job."

"You're lying about the nose job place right?"

"No I'm not. Ask Stan. Stan's mom works there."

"AJ, come over her-ah!" Cartman called.

"Sorry Lana, I gots to go cause you know, the bf is calling." AJ said.

"No, no, no, go, go, go." Lana responded.

"Thanks Lana." AJ left and Kyle approached Lana.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." She responded.

"Hey, do you wanna come play four square? Butters is playing too."

"Cool, that sounds great."

When the bell for the students to come inside rang, the students all sat down in their desks and Mr. Garrison walked in.

"Okay children." He said. "Now that were back we can focus on math." Cartman looked over at AJ and AJ looked back. They exchanged smirks and looked over at Garrison.

"So who can tell me what it means to divide?" At that moment, Mr. Mackey came into the classroom.

"Ugh Mr. Garrison?" He asked.

"What?" He responded.

"Ugh I think you might want to go see your car in the parking lot, m'kay."

"Wait, what's wrong with my car!?" Mr. Garrison ran to the window and saw that his car was completely covered in bird shit. "MY CAR!" That's when the class started to laugh, but Eric and AJ laughed the loudest and exchanged a high five.

Garrison noticed and looked over at the two. "Mackey, take Eric and AJ to Victoria."

In principal Victoria's office, Mackey made the two sit down.

"Well I'm not surprised to see you in here, Eric." Principal Victoria said. "But I am surprised to see you in here AJ. Instead of detention, you two are going to clean Mr. Garrison's car after school."

"OH WEAK!" Cartman responded.

"Now go back to class, m'kay!" Mr. Mackey shouted.

"Fine, fuck this." Cartman said getting out of his chair. AJ followed Cartman out. The two were heading back to class when AJ said,

"Hey, I just thought of a super dooper cooper idea on how we can clean Garrison's car faster."

"Go on." Cartman responded.

"Well, I saw that the janitor has one of those power hose thingies. Lets just sneak in and get the hose."

"Good idea, you get it at the end of the day and I meet you in the parking lot."

"Cool."

The two went back to class and sat in their desks.

"What happened?" Butters whispered to Cartman. "How much detention did you two get?"

"We were told to clean off Garrison's car at the end of the day." Cartman responded.

"That will take hours Eric...I'm sorry."

"We already got that figured out. We will be done in less then ten minutes."

"That's like impossible."

"You'll see Butters."

As the final bell rang, Cartman and AJ were given sponges and water buckets and were ordered to go to the parking lot. Garrison said he would check on them in an hour. On their way out, AJ snuck into the janitors office and swiped the power hose. AJ ran outside,

"I got it!" She said.

"Sweet." Cartman said. Cartman went and hooked up the hose, turned the water on, and came back. Cartman then pulled the handle. Water shot out of the hose with incredible force and Cartman lost control. Stan and Kyle were walking by and unintentionally, the hose struck Stan which pushed him and he fell on top Kyle. AJ managed to turn the water off.

"Jesus christ!" Stan shouted. "That fucking hurt!"

"Well, look at this brightly, Stan." Cartman said. "At least the Jew somewhat broke your fall."

"Damn it, Cartman!" Kyle shouted.

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE! M'KAY!" Mr. Mackey shouted.

"...Oh shit..." AJ said turning around. During that moment, Lana and Butters had walked by.

"Gee wiz...did AJ just swear?" Butters asked.

"I've never heard her swear before." Lana responded.

"HELLO!" Stan shouted.

"Oh..." They both said now looking at Kyle and Stan.

"Are you okay?" Lana asked as the two boys stood up.

"I'm fine." Kyle said brushing himself off.

"Shit!" Stan shouted. "My arm hurts."

"Come on." Lana said. "Let's take you home, Stan."

"Eric, AJ, its back to Victoria's office for you, m'kay!" Mr. Mackey said sending them back inside the school.

"You two had one job." Principal Victoria said face palming. "To make it worse you stole a piece of school equipment without permission."

"We were just trying to get the work done a lot more speedy." AJ said.

"It doesn't matter because we are just going to give you two a weeks worth of detention after school."

"That's total bullshit!" Cartman shouted.

"You two couldn't even do a simple task as clean a car." Principal Victoria said. "A weeks worth of detention starting tomorrow. Go home you two."

"What about Mr. Garrison's car?" AJ asked.

"It will be taken care of now go."

Stan, Kyle, Butters, and Lana were all walking Stan home. The reason why Stan had even hurt his arm is because he had landed arm first on Kyle when he had fallen.

"We're almost home, Stan." Kyle said.

"Then you can put some ice on your arm." Lana added.

"It hurts." Stan said. "Fuck Cartman."

"I think you will be fine, Stan." Kyle replied. "You probably didn't even sprain it."

"Yeah luckily Kyle broke your fall." Butters stated. "So it could have been worse."

"Yeah, thanks Kyle." Stan said.

"Its no problem, dude." Kyle replied. "Well, actually you just fell on me and I happened to be there."

"Well, glad you were there." The four made it to Stan's house.

"Well guys, I'm leaving. I got to get home before I get grounded." Butters said.

"I gotta go too." Lana said. "Are you two gonna be okay?"

"Yeah of course, Lana." Kyle said. "I'll take Stan inside and take care of him."

"Okay."

Lana got back home to find AJ sitting on the couch with Cartman on the other side watching TV. She was gonna walk over to discuss what went on when the two when they were sent back to the principal when Cassandra pulled her aside.

"What?" Lana asked.

"Doesn't it make you want to barf?" Cassandra said.

"..."

"Doesn't it?"

"Well, as much as I think Eric is kind of an ass, I'm tolerating him for AJ and you should too."

"You're funny Lana. You know I can't do that."

"Yeah, I know."

"Exactly." Lana began to walk up to her room. "Hey where are you going?"

"Upstairs."

"Aren't you gonna help me piss Cartman off?"

"Pff no, I'm not getting involved in your crap Cassandra."

"Fuck you Lana."

Lana went upstairs and got on her computer. She was just about to check her Facebook until she heard a sound from her window. Lana went over to the window and saw Kenny. He climbed the tree right next to her window and was knocking because he wanted to be let in. Lana let Kenny inside and asked,

"Hey Kenny, what's up?"

"I just came by to say hi." Kenny responded.

"And?"

"And to maybe hang out with you a bit."

"Cool that would be great, Kenny."

While Lana and Kenny were upstairs, Cassandra was so ready to piss Cartman off in the easiest way possible. Cassandra walked into the room with no expression and sat on the couch right in between Cartman and AJ.

"EH!" Cartman shouted. "I was sitting next to AJ!"

"Now I am." Cassandra said in her fake sing song voice.

"Oh hell no, you can not just come over here and sit right in between me and AJ! AJ tell her to move."

"But AJ, I want to sit next to you." Cassandra spoke before AJ could answer. That is when Cassandra gave AJ a sad puppy dog face.

"Oh two can play at this game, bitch." Cartman muttered. That is when Eric gave AJ his sad puppy dog face.

"Oh you two are such cuties." AJ said. "I'll sit in the middle so that way you both can sit next to me." AJ moved to the middle so Cartman was on her right and Cassandra was on her left. AJ returned her attention to the TV but Cartman and Cassandra were staring each other down. Cartman gave her the finger and Cassandra responded by sticking her tongue out. These two continued to give each other rude gestures for the rest of the time Cartman was there and of course AJ didn't even notice.

"So what's it like sharing a room with AJ?" Kenny asked while laying on Lana's bed.

"It's great." Lana responded. "I'm just glad I'm not sharing with Cassandra. She can be, well she is not exactly as nice as she seems to be."

"Oh I know."

"Huh?"

"One time, I took AJ to a party and her sister thought we were dating and-"

"-I bet she gave you a hard time." Lana interrupted.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry. She has a problem with boys who try to date her sister."

"No kidding."

"Yeah..."

"Changing the subject, I noticed you and Butters have gotten pretty friendly." Kenny said.

"Yeah, he's a really nice guy." Responded Lana.

"So are you and him together?"

"What!? NO!"

"Oh okay. I was just wondering."

"Eww he's my friend."

"That you like."

"Don't be ridiculous, Kenny."

"I'm just playing with you. Do you want to go see a movie tonight?"

"Yeah sure, Ken."

"Great. I'll see you around eight." Kenny was about to go out the window when Lana said,

"Ugh maybe you should use the front door."

"Right." Kenny replied and left using the front door this time.


	3. Chapter 3

**I want to let you know that this chapter contains some Creek ;) Yes I know that Tweek and Craig had not become canon until season 19, however in my head-canon they got together much earlier before PC principal.**

"AJ, I am going to the movies." Lana said. It was night, Cartman went home because it was late and had to get home to dinner.

"Ohhhhhh with who?" AJ said batting her eyes.

"Ha ha ha, AJ." Lana said sarcastically. "I'm going with Kenny and NO we are not going on a date."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Are you positive?"

"Yes."

"...Are you HIV positive?"

"Wait, WHAT!?"

"Just messing with you Lana." AJ then began to giggle.

"AJ, I swear that boy is rubbing off on you." Lana said.

"Is that a good thing?"

"I don't fucking know."

"LANA! You swore."

"You said shit earlier today."

"I know...I'm just messing with you again." AJ giggled again. "Go have fun with Kenny." Lana left out the door and made it to the movie theater.

"Glad you could make it." Kenny said.

"I'm glad I did." Lana said. Lana and Kenny walked into the theater. Lana bought concessions because of course Kenny couldn't pay for all of that. The two walked in and saw a familiar face.

"Hey fellers!" Butters shouted from one of the seats.

"Hey Butters." Lana responded. "Are you here to see the new Rob Schneider film too?"

"Yeah."

"Are you here with someone?" Kenny asked.

"No, I'm just here by myself."

"Oh...well you can come sit with us." Lana said.

"Really?" Butters asked.

"Yeah of course, Butters." Kenny said.

"Neat-o." Butters responded happily.

After the movie, Kenny parted ways from Butters and Lana. Butters and Lana walked home together. As they were walking, Butters said,

"So did you like the movie?"

"It was okay, I liked the one where he was a carrot better." Lana responded.

"Yeah I liked that one too. It was really nice that I got to sit with you and Kenny."

"Yeah, you and I are friends and I felt like you shouldn't be left out."

"Lana...I have something important to ask you."

"Yes?"

"Were you and Kenny on a date?"

"No...we are just friends."

"Okay, I just didn't want to be a third wheel as all."

"No you weren't a third wheel at all."

"Well that's good." The two stopped and Butters went inside his house. Lana crossed the street and went inside her house.

The next day after school, AJ and Cartman walked down to detention.

"Man detention is gonna suck bahls." Cartman complained.

"Well," AJ said. "Maybe this will give use the opportunity to work on our homework together." The two walked into the library, which is where detention was for that day, and sat down next to each other.

"Oh no." Mr. Mackey said. "You two are not going to sit together in detention, m'kay. AJ, go sit next to Craig." AJ got up and went to the next table over and sat next to Craig.

"Fucking weak." Cartman muttered.

"M'kay this is detention." Mr. Mackey stated. "There will be no talking! Use this time to do your homework until the clock strikes five, m'kay."

AJ was bummed that Mackey didn't let her sit next to Eric, however she remained positive about the situation. After all, Craig was not a bad person to sit next to.

"Hey." AJ whispered to Craig.

"What?" Craig whispered back.

"I'm curious. How many times have you gotten detention?"

"Lost count."

"Oh...so I guess no one will never ever know."

"I guess not." That is when there was a light knocking on the window next to where AJ and Craig were sitting. It was a Tweek.

"Oh look AJ, it's Craig's boyfriend. Ha! They are so gay am I right?" Cartman said loud enough for AJ to hear and Mr. Mackey to not hear. Upon hearing Cartman, surprisingly AJ ignored him. Tweek waved over at Craig and Craig flipped him off. Then Tweek blew Craig a kiss and left. AJ then looked over at Craig with her dorky smile.

"What?" Craig asked.

"To think, you asked me to the dance a while back and now you and Tweek are together." AJ said.

"I was in the closet at the time, AJ."

"Well I'm super happy that you came out. You two make a cute couple." Craig blushed and flicked AJ off which made AJ giggle.

"EH! AJ, what are you laughing about!?" Cartman yelled.

"Eric shut up, m'kay!" Mr. Mackey shouted.

Again, Cartman was being ignored by AJ, who was now talking silently with Craig about something else while working on her homework. This was seriously pissing him off. Cartman always demanded attention, he practically feeds off of it. That is when Cartman came up with a much clever way of getting of AJ's attention. He pulled out one of his notebooks and tore out a sheet, crumpled it up, checked to see if Mackey was looking, and threw a paper ball to where AJ was sitting. Unfortunately, the paper ball missed AJ and hit the floor by her chair.

"Shit." Cartman muttered. Eric did the same thing once again and missed that time too. He kept repeating this cycle until finally he ended up hitting someone with the paper ball, but it was Craig instead of AJ. Craig turned around and looked at Cartman.

"What?" He whispered over to him.

"Get AJ for me." Cartman whispered back. Craig looked at Cartman with no expression for five seconds, flipped him off, and turned around.

"Fuck you too, Craig." Cartman threw one more paper ball and surprisingly, it finally hit AJ. AJ turned around to see Cartman and she picked up the ball. She smiled, threw the ball back at Cartman, and it hit him in the head.

As the clock struck 5 o'clock, AJ got up and walked over to Cartman.

"Ready to go home?" She said. Cartman did nothing but look at AJ with a glare. "What, Car-Car?"

"Don't call me that." Cartman replied.

"But I've called you that before?"

"Well I'm pissed and I don't want you to call me that right now."

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing AJ. Let's go." AJ was going to wrap her arms around one of Cartman's arms, but Cartman pulled his arm away. AJ sighed and they walked together home not saying a word to each other. When they reached AJ's house, AJ was going to go inside, but she stopped half way.

"What?" Cartman asked.

"Are you mad at me?" AJ asked turning around to face him.

"Yeah I am pissed off at you."

"What did I do?"

"You ignored me during detention."

"But Eric, I was trying not to get us in more trouble."

"Who cares! When I ask for attention, dammit, I should get it in return!"

"Looksies, I'm super duper sorry that I ignored you. I didn't know. Please forgive me." Then AJ made the cutest face begging for forgiveness.

"Hmm I suppose I can forgive you if you bring me something involving chocolate tomorrow."

"Yes! Of course." AJ then ran to give Cartman a hug, but was stopped by Cartman's hand signaling her to stop.

"Right now I'm still upset with you. Until you give me what I want tomorrow, no love and affection for you." AJ blushed and replied,

"Oh of course! I'll get right on the tippy top of that." AJ blew Cartman a kiss and then ran inside her house.

When AJ had walked into her house, she saw that Lana was sitting on the couch giggling to herself.

"Hey." AJ said.

"Oh hi." Lana responded lovingly. "How was detention?"

"Before I tell you, I'm super curious to know what happened with you. You're going all lovey-dovey on me."

"Well, I went over to Stan's after school."

"Yes?"

"Well, I was told by his dad that he was upstairs with Kyle and I walked upstairs."

"Go on."

"And I opened the door and found Kyle and Stan in a hug."

"Aww how sweet."

"So...are they dating?" Lana asked.

"No they're just super best friends!" AJ replied.

"You're kidding me right?" Lana asked raising her eyebrows.

"What?" AJ asked.

"Super best friends my ass! Those two are totally have it bad for each other!"

"Whatever you say, Lana. Whelp I'm gonna go to the kitchen and bake Cartman some apology brownies."

"Apology brownies? For what?"

"I pissed off Cartman today and he won't forgive me if I don't make him apology brownies."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god..." Lana muttered to herself.

"What was that?" AJ asked.

"Nothing, you do you, AJ." Lana replied.

"Otay, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

"Yeah sure, AJ."

The next day Lana walked to the bus stop and saw Stan and Kyle. Lana left the house early while AJ was still brushing her hair.

"Hey you two!" Lana shouted.

"Oh shit it's Lana." Stan whispered to Kyle.

"Ready to explain to her what was going on?" Kyle whispered back.

"Yeah."

When Lana reached them, she stood next to Kyle and said,

"So yesterday..."

"Look we're just friends." Stan said.

"Yeah super best friends." Kyle added.

"Yeah i know." Lana said acting nonchalant. _Friends my ass_ she thought to herself

"No seriously." Stan explained. "I know it looked like we were in a romantic embrace but that's just how we hug okay."

"Yeah I get it." Lana said with a smile.

"Glad we got that out of the way." Kyle said in a sigh of relief.

"Yep!" Lana said. _Omg how gay can you two be! OMG so adorable!_ Lana thought In her head.

"Hey fuckers." Cartman said arriving at the bus stop.

"Aww fuck." The other three muttered.

"Where's my girlfriend with my chocolate?"

"What?" Stan asked.

"Dude...what did you make her do this time?" Kyle asked starting to get pissed.

"You don't want to know." Lana said.

"No I do!"

"Apparently AJ pissed him off so the only way she'll get his love and affection back is if she makes him brownies." Lana said with an eye roll.

"Oh, so she's making me apology brownies. Not bad." Cartman said.

"That's fucked up dude." Stan said.

"It's not fucked up, Stan. It's fucking wrong." Kyle responded.

"That too." Stan said.

"EH! I don't judge on how you two run your relationship." Cartman exclaimed.

"We are not together!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Whatever." Cartman responded rolling his eyes.

"Sorry I'm late!" AJ said running to the bus stop.

"Hey AJ." Lana said.

"Here's some apology brownies." AJ said giving them to Cartman.

"Kewl, I'll be taking those!" Cartman said as he snagged the brownies from her.

"So you forgive me now?"

"Depends on how good these brownies taste." Cartman said. Cartman tried one and looked over at AJ. "You are forgiven."

"Yay!" AJ shouted and glomped him.

"Mph! Yeah AJ okay I like you too. Now get off of me."

"Otay." AJ said letting go. As AJ had let go, Cassandra arrived at the bus stop and stood right beside her sister.

"Morning Cassandra." Stan said.

"Hey Stan." Cassandra said.

"Oh Cassandra guess what." AJ said.

"What?"

"Car-Car accepted my apology brownies and he's forgiven me." AJ exclaimed.

"...Wow...That's fantastic..."


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey, Lana over here." Butters shouted.

"Hey Butters." Lana said approaching him.

"Did you see that huge tray of brownies Eric is carrying?"

"...Oh yeah...AJ made those for him."

"What, is it like a present for an anniversary or something?"

"No, not even close. AJ calls them apology brownies."

"Apology brownies? Wait what is AJ apologizing for?"

"Apparently, Cartman was mad at her and she made him apology brownies so he would forgive her."

"Gee...Eric-"

"-Let's just stop talking about it." Lana interrupted.

"You know what, you're right." Butters agreed.

"So Lana, what are you doing after school?"

"Oh nothing as of right now."

"Do you wanna come over to my house?" Butters asked.

"Of course! Just let me text my mom and see if it's okay and I'll get back to you around recess."

"Okay." Just then the ten minute warning bell rung. "Oh the ten minute warning, we should head to class."

"I'll meet you in class, I'm gonna go use the bathroom." With that being said, Lana headed to class and Butters headed to the boys bathroom. He opened the door and saw Cartman.

"Butters, AJ gave me this whole platter of brownies." He began. "It's pretty fucking sweet."

"I don't know Eric...I heard that you made AJ make those."

"Well of course, Butters. It was her way of apologizing to me."

"Well technically she did kind of apologize, but you didn't forgive her until she gave you brownies which is kind of bad."

"Oh fuck me running, you too?"

"What?"

"First Kahl tries to tell me how to run my relationship and now you. I'm getting really sick and tired of people trying to butt into my business with AJ."

"Well all I'm saying is that most people don't treat their girlfriends the way you treat AJ, why if I had a girlfriend, I would treat her like a princess."

"And that is your way of a relationship Butters, but it ain't mine."

"Well it certainly isn't right." Kyle said walking into the bathroom.

"God dammit, Kahl!" Cartman shouted. "I only fucking heard this from you a million fucking times!"

"Yet you don't take into consideration that maybe I'm right!"

"Because you aren't, fuck off Kahl!"

"Whatever, just to let you know, Cassandra wants to see you during recess and I seriously hope she kicks your ass for the way you've treated AJ."

"Oh geez." Butters exclaimed.

"Pfff okay. I'm sure Cassandra is going to do shit to me when AJ is present." Cartman said sarcastically. "We agreed that we had to tolerate each other when AJ's around."

"Well did you know that they moved AJ's detention sentence to during recess?" Kyle asked.

"What do you mean?"

"AJ just told me that she will now be serving the remainder of her week long detention during recess."

"Well fine, that means I can kick Cassandra's ass if she tries something!"

"You have fun with that, Cartman." After that being said, Kyle turned around and walked out of the boy's bathroom and headed to class. On the way to class Cassandra caught up with Kyle,

"So did you tell him?" Cassandra asked.

"Yeah I did." Kyle replied. "So are you going to kick his ass?"

"Oh no Kyle, that is like a complete waste of my time and strength."

"Then what are you planning?"

"It's not what I am planning, it's something I know that's coming and that is what I'm gonna tell Cartman at recess."

"Wait, what? What are you talking about?"

"Kyle, you and everyone else will find out eventually." Cassandra then smiled. "Whelp, I'm gonna go to class, bye Kyle." Cassandra left and went into her classroom and Kyle met up with Stan.

"So is she going to kick Cartman's ass?" Stan asked.

"She said no." Kyle replied.

"Wow, I'm surprised."

"She told me something was coming and that we would find out eventually."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"I don't know."

Class went by quickly and it was recess in no time. Cartman walked on the playground and was ready to face AJ's bitch of a sister. Cartman spotted her and Cassandra spotted him and that is when they headed towards each other. As they approached each other Cartman yelled,

"All right bitch lets throw down."

"Pfff, I'm not fighting you." Cassandra stated with a smirk.

"Wait, what?" Cartman was completely thrown off guard. "What do you mean you are not gonna fight me bitch!?"

"Because I really don't feel like it."

"You don't feel like it? Bullshit!"

"No seriously, I just wanted to talk to you about the way you are treating my sister."

"Fuck off, Cassandra I already have Kahl and Butters judging my relationship and I don't need your shit too."

"Whoa! If you would let me finish you fat fuck I would be able to tell you that I'm not pulling you aside to heavily accuse you of being a doucebag to my sister. That's fucking stupid when you already have people doing that."

"Then why the fuck do you want to see me?"

"Well it's not that I want to see you, but really just to warn you."

"Warn me...about what?"

"Oh that if you continue treating my sister like shit, you're going to really regret it."

"I fucking knew it you do want to fight me, but instead of that, you want to threaten me instead. No bitch, we are gonna throw down now so you don't waste my time."

"Oh Cartman, this warning doesn't have anything to do with me beating the shit out of you...actually this warning has to do with AJ. I swear if you continue being an asshole, AJ is gonna snap and let you have what's coming to you."

"Pffff, that's fucking funny bitch. You're sister thinks I fucking awesome and kewl. Why the fuck would she fight me?"

"Oh but you've only known her for awhile Cartman. You really don't know everything about my sister."

"All right then fucking tell me what I don't know if you're so god damn smart."

"Mmmmm no."

"WHAT!? BITCH WHY!?"

"Because that takes the fun out of knowing something you don't know." Cassandra said rolling her eyes.

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you too."

"Tell me!"

"No!"

"Tell me!"

"No!"

"Tell me!"

"NO!" With that being said, Cassandra stuck her tongue out and Cartman flicked her off. "Well anyways, I'm not wasting the rest of my precious recess fighting with you. All I'm saying is watch your self." Cassandra smirked and then turned her back on the fat kid and walked away leaving Cartman really fucking pissed off. However, he was growing rather concerned because while this evil bitch plays mind games, she sure didn't sound like she was playing one this time. He knew he had to go talk to AJ.

As the bell rang to signal that recess was over, Cartman went looking for AJ and found her talking to Wendy outside the classroom.

"AJ!" Cartman said snapping his fingers. "We need to talk right now!"

"Excuse me!" Wendy shouted. "I was talking to her first asshole!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm more important than you are Wendy, fuck off."

"Sorry Wendy." AJ said. "We will talk later, Otay?"

"Okay." Wendy glared at Cartman and then went into the classroom.

"So you wanted to talk to me, Car Car?" AJ said.

"Yes, well I wanted to talk to you about our relationship."

"What about it?"

"You don't hate it right?"

"What!? No way! I love it! Why?"

"Oh no reason AJ. I'm just checking."

"Oh...otay."

During the rest of the school day, Cartman's mind raced about what Cassandra had told him. He knew for damn sure that Cassandra was obviously lying because AJ basically told him that she was in no way angry with their relationship, but Cassandra was still bothering him. He really wanted to know what Cassandra knew about AJ that he didn't know. And how could he ask AJ about it if he doesn't know what Cassandra was talking about in the first place. It was seriously aggravating him. When the school bell rang, Cartman reported to detention while everyone else was heading home.

"Hey wait up!" Cassandra shouted at Kyle and Stan.

"So what did you tell Cartman?" Stan asked.

"Well he knows that if he continues to treat my sister like shit, my sister will give him shit."

"Wait! What?" Kyle said confused. "I don't know if I heard this right but did you just tell me AJ will raise hell with Cartman if he doesn't stop treating her badly."

"Yes, you heard that correctly." Cassandra replied.

"Cassandra, are you feeling all right?" Stan asked.

"I feel fine." Cassandra said with a smile.

"Are you sure?" Kyle asked.

"Totally, bye." Cassandra left Stan and Kyle who were completely confused. They knew for damn sure that Cassandra had finally lost it. No way would AJ fight back against Cartman. She hadn't done it before, so why the hell would she do it now? Plus, she is way too fucking nice.

"Okay dude, Cassandra has officially lost it." Kyle said.

"Tell me about." Stan replied.

"Hi you two." Lana said giggling.

"Hey Lana." Kyle responded.

"Watcha doing?"

"Well we were just talking." Stan said.

"Oh okay" _Talking my ass._ Lana thought. "Well, I'll just leave you two alone. Besides, I've got to go meet up with Butters." When Lana had left, Stan and Kyle exchanged looks.

"I think she is still on about that hug." Kyle said.

"Nah dude she seemed pretty ok." Stan said.

"Alright if you say so.:" Kyle said.

"Oh I wouldn't say that." Kenny said walking into the conversation.

"Oh hey Kenny." Stan said.

"What do you mean?" Kyle asked.

"Oh nothing." Kenny said giving a wide grin.

"Kenny, do you know something we don't know?" Kyle asked.

"Nah dudes, I'm just messing with you." Kenny said. _Geez they are clueless._ He thought.

"Then why the hell are you grinning like that?" Stan asked.

"What I'm not allowed to?" Kenny asked.

"Kenny!" A voice shouted happily. _Karen McCormick to the rescue!_

"Hey Karen!" Kenny said as he picked her up.

"Will you walk me home today, big brother?" Karen asked.

"Sure sweetie!" Kenny said. Kenny then looked at the other two "Gotta go guys!" Kenny left Stan and Kyle and they were alone again and even more confused then before. First, Cassandra has lost her sense of reality and now Kenny knows something about Lana. Well fuck!


	5. Chapter 5

For the past few days, Cassandra had been coming to school with an evil smirk on her face and it was making Cartman very curious to know just what the hell is going on and why she warned him about AJ. Was this really about AJ? Who fucking knows. This was not only making Eric Cartman curious, but the curiosity spread over to Stan and Kyle. It was now Friday and Cassandra strolled into school in the morning. As she walked in, she was rubbing her hands together and had on an even bigger smirk than ever before. One thing that really stood out is how she wasn't with her sister. In fact, AJ was not on the bus that morning either. Lana said that AJ's mom told her that AJ was looking for something and that she would be driven to school instead. This must be the day shit was going down and Kyle and Stan could tell and they both agreed that they would confront her about it.

As Cassandra got to her locker, Kyle and Stan came up to her.

"So ugh Cassandra, are you gonna kick Cartman's ass today?" Stan asked.

"No." Cassandra replied taking out some of her school books.

"Are you going to do anything to him today?" Kyle asked.

"Absolutely not, Kyle." Cassandra said. "Although..."

"What?"

"I wouldn't be too sure about my sister."

"Oh no, not this shit again." Stan complained. "Cassandra, do you even know your own sister?"

"Yes I do." Cassandra responded. "She's the most kindest and happiest person I've ever cared to know."

"So if AJ is the kindest and happiest person ever, then wouldn't it not make any damn sense that your sister would beat up on Cartman?" Kyle asked.

"He's got a point." Stan added. "Your sister has been putting up with Cartman's bullshit for a while now and hasn't once complained or snapped on him."

"Oh you guys." Cassandra said with a smile. "You're just going to have to wait and see." With that being said Cassandra shut her locker and walked away. As Cassandra walked away, Lana walked up to Kyle and Stan.

"Hey you two." She said.

"Hey Lana." Kyle responded.

"Do you know what's going on with Cassandra?" Stan asked.

"I don't have a single damn clue." Lana replied. "I've tried to ask her, but all she told me is that these things take time."

"AJ!" Cartman shouted as he saw her walking down the hall. AJ didn't stop, she kept on walking. "EH! Did you hear me!?"

"Oh and Cassandra said something else." Lana stated.

"What?" Stan asked.

Cartman ran down the hall after AJ. He was pissed that AJ didn't listen to him. She always listened to him. He finally caught up to her at the entrance to the fourth grade classroom.

"Hmm..." Lana said trying to recall the memory. "She said something like, it's about that time of the month or something like that...Whoa! Wait a minute! You don't think Cassandra was implying that-"

"-Oh shit!" All three of them ended up saying.

"We gotta find AJ and Cartman!" Lana said.

"EH! AJ! I told you to slow down like a million fucking times and you didn't at all! What the fuck was that!?" Cartman asked pissed off.

"You know something Eric..." AJ replied. "Maybe you should LEARN TO KEEP THE FUCK UP!" Everyone there had turned their heads to see the two. AJ huffed, turned around, and entered the classroom. There was about ten seconds of pure silence with Cartman still standing at the front of the doorway to the fourth grade classroom, he was frozen. It wasn't until Craig spoke up that broke the silence.

"Damn..." He let out. With that being said, Cartman snapped out of his frozen state and walked away from the classroom pushing everyone aside.

Lana, Kyle, and Stan began to run towards their classroom and while they ran, they ended up crossing paths with Butters.

"Fellas!" Butters shouted. "AJ just yelled at Eric for the first time!"

"YES!" Kyle let out and then immediately cleared his throat. "Oh that's unfortunate."

"Really Kyle?" Stan asked.

"Hey, I didn't care whether we stopped AJ or didn't stop AJ."

"Well I care." Lana said concerned. "Now Cartman is going to want to break up with her."

"Sorry for saying this but isn't that like a good thing?" Butters asked.

"Well, I guess you could say that, but AJ really likes him."

"If she likes him so much then why did she yell at him? Heck, how did you guys know this was going to happen?"

"Ugh well..." Stan said. "Lana I think that explanation is for you."

"Me!?" Lana replied. "Why me!?"

"Because Kyle and I really don't want to talk about the thing you girls get."

"Fine..." _All right, how am I going to explain this to Butters?_ Lana thought. "Okay Butters, you know that at a certain age in girls, they begin developing changes."

"Well yeah." Butters responded.

"Well AJ started getting these changes early. It started happening around this year."

"Okay?"

"Once the changes start happening, a girl acts a certain way for a couple of days every month. During this time, a girl can end up saying things she really doesn't mean."

"Oh...so you're talking about periods. That time of the month where girls get very moody for a couple of days and have blood coming out their vajayjays?"

"Yeah, that's what I was trying to imply." _Well hot damn, he actually knows about periods._ "So you see why AJ yelled at Cartman now?"

"Yes, now that actually makes sense, but what doesn't make sense is that AJ never lashed out on him last month or the month before. Why now?"

"Well, when she is on her you-know-what, she takes mood stabilizers to prevent herself from acting the way she did. Wait a minute..."

"What is it Lana?" Kyle asked.

"The thing AJ must have lost...it was her mood stabilizers...Damn it, I have not been using my brain today."

"We all have those days Lana, don't be too hard on yourself." Butters replied putting his hand on her shoulder. That is when Kenny walked by and saw the four fourth graders engaged in a conversation. He decided that he should stop and listen in.

"The first thing we got to do is find Cartman and explain the situation to him." Lana said.

"Oh that should certainly be an interesting conversation." Kyle said sarcastically. "Hello Cartman, guess what? Your girlfriend snapped at you because she is on her period and-"

"-Alright Kyle, we get the point." Stan interrupted.

"But we can't just not tell him and have him assume that she is truly mad at him." Lana explained.

"True!" Kenny said entering the conversation.

"Kenny!?" Lana shouted. "Were you listening in?"

"Of course I was." Then Kenny grinned. "I'm willing to talk to Cartman about this."

"But Kenny, class literally starts in two minutes." Kyle stated while looking at his phone.

"I'll just ditch. Besides, I can write myself a pass back to class."

"You're such a bad boy, Kenny." Lana giggled.

"Well sometimes you got to be the bad boy in order to help out your friends." Kenny replied.

"Thanks again, Kenny." Stan said.

"No problem." Kenny watched his friends and fellow classmates enter the classroom and then he set off to look for Cartman. It wasn't hard to find him, he was standing outside the second grade classroom.

"Okay seriously, what the fuck are you doing?" Kenny asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing, Kinny!" Cartman snapped. "I'm waiting for that stupid bitch to walk out here and tell me just what the fuck is going on!"

"Whoa! Calm down."

"Did you not see what happened or are you fucking blind!?"

"Okay Cartman, lets go." With that being said, Kenny grabbed Cartman by his arm and dragged him into the boy's bathroom and locked themselves in.

"Damn Kinny, your twisted my fucking arm."

"Oh cry me a fucking river."

"Why did you bring me in here?!"

"First of all, you seriously need to calm down."

"I am calm!"

"...No you're not and until you are, I'll just stand in front of the door and wait." Cartman looked at Kenny and Kenny looked at him.

"Fine." Cartman sighed.

"That's better." Kenny responded. "So AJ finally snapped at you, huh?"

"Eh!"

"Well she did. At least that's what I heard."

"And her fucking sister had something to do with it."

"Wait, what? You're joking right?"

"No." Kenny then began to giggle a little bit upon hearing this. "Eh! What's so funny?"

"You do realize why AJ snapped at you, right?" Kenny asked still giggling.

"Yeah, because Cassandra did something to her." Cartman replied crossing his arms causing Kenny to stop giggling.

"Really Cartman? Have you ever thought it could be something else?" Kenny asked now more seriously.

"Oh yeah what do you think it could be if you're so damn smart?"

"Well, it could be that she's on her period."

"...That's fucking stupid Kinny..."

"Well it's the truth dude, your girlfriend is dripping blood from her vagina."

"How do you know?"

"Because Lana said so."

"And you believe her?"

"Yes."

"Well I don't. I wouldn't be surprised if Cassandra told her to tell you that."

"Okay Cartman, if AJ's not on her period then what do you think is going on?"

"I don't know!? But Cassandra has to be involved! That bitch has been smirking all week."

"Or she was smirking because she knew AJ was going to be on her monthly."

"And Cassandra has been saying that AJ was going to be pissed off at me."

"Because Cassandra knows that girls act like bitches to anyone around them when they are on their periods."

"Cassandra also said that-"

"-Shut up, Cartman. Will you just accept the fact that AJ is on her period and Cassandra got inside your head?"

"...Dude, AJ's not on her period! If this was AJ's time of the month, then I would have been dealing with this bullshit last month."

"Well, maybe she wasn't as moody last month. I honestly don't know. Since you don't believe me and you don't believe Lana, how about you go ask AJ if she's on her time of the month?"

"Because a guy just doesn't go walking up to his chick and ask her about her bleeding vagina Keeny!" Kenny sighed.

"You know what, fuck it. I tried talking to you, but believe what you want. Go confront Cassandra."

"I will! At recess!"

"You have fun with that." Kenny then unlocked the door to the bathroom. "By the way, here." Kenny shoved a pass in Cartman's hand. "Just so you don't get flagged down by a hall monitor and you have an excuse of not coming to class." As soon as he had given the hall pass to Cartman, Kenny left the bathroom and headed for class. As he walked, he noticed Cartman was following him back to class. At least Kenny accomplished one thing, getting Cartman to go to class.

As lunch rolled around, AJ was stopped by Lana and Butters on the way to the cafeteria.

"Hey, can we talk to you really quick?" Lana asked.

"Fine..." AJ sulked.

"Ugh...you should probably avoid Cartman for the rest of the day." Lana suggested.

"Why? Is it because I'm unattractive?"

"What!? No." Butters said.

"I knew it!" AJ whined. "You're just lying to cover it up."

"AJ calm down." Lana said.

"No!"

"Yes."

"...Otay then." AJ said with a smile. "But really, why should I avoid Car Car?"

"Because you really let him have it this morning." Lana said.

"Have what?"

"Lets just say you snapped at him a little." Butters said.

"AM I NOT ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY!?" AJ shouted.

"That's not what he meant AJ." Lana replied.

"...Oh." AJ sighed. "Now I feel bad for yelling."

"AJ, it's not your fault, okay."

"But it is." AJ cried. "I lost my-"

"-Yeah we know." Butters interrupted putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Wait, WHAT!?" AJ said. "LANA, YOU TOLD HIM!?"

"AJ, it was the only way I could explain your behavior." Lana said calmly.

"HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU TELL!?"

"Stan and Kyle." Butters replied.

"Butters." Lana whispered nudging his side.

"REALLY LANA!?" AJ shouted.

"Again." Lana replied. "I was trying to explain to them that-"

"-NO! SCREW YOU!"

"AJ, please just listen."

"...Fine..."

"You do know how easy it is to get Cartman angry, right?"

"Yeah, I know." AJ sighed.

"You are lucky he chose to not say anything back." Butters stated. "He almost always has something to say when someone talks back to him like you did."

"You two are right. I just got his affection back and I don't want to risk losing it again."

"Good, glad that we settled this." Lana said.

"I guess I'll just take my snackies and show up early to detention since recess is right after anyways."

"Good idea. That way you avoid the cafeteria at all costs." Butters said.

"We will walk you to detention, okay?" Lana said.

"I guess so." AJ replied rolling her eyes.

Kyle and Stan were sitting at their usual spots at the lunch table discussing the events of the day. They desperately wanted to know about what happened between Kenny and Cartman while they were in class. As Kenny sat down at the table, Stan asked,

"What happened dude?"

"Yeah, I'm actually curious." Kyle added.

"Guys." Kenny said. "All you need to know is-" Before Kenny could continue, Cartman arrived at the table.

"I swear to God you guys, Cassandra is behind all of this!" He shouted. "AJ never disrespects my fucking authoritah! Never!" Stan and Kyle looked at each other and looked at Kenny. They now realized that obviously, Kenny tried to explain the situation, but it didn't even do anything. In spite of that, Stan and Kyle just nodded their heads and let Cartman have his rant.


	6. Chapter 6

After about ten minutes passed, Lana and Butters showed up to the table. Cartman stopped his rant and looked at Lana with a glare.

"Where's AJ?" He asked.

"Not here." Lana replied.

"Yeah she's in the detention room." Butters added.

"What! Why? Detention doesn't even start until after lunch." Cartman shouted.

"Hm...Why would that be Cartman? I wonder..." Kyle asked like a smart ass.

"Shut the fuck up, Kahl." Cartman said with a glare.

"I'm just saying." Lunch got pretty quiet after that. Lana occasionally went to go chat with the girls and then comeback. Finally, the bell rang for recess and Cartman walked outside looking for Cassandra while the rest of the guys went to go play kickball and Lana played hopscotch with the girls. Cartman searched everywhere and that is when he saw Cassandra leaning up against the red brick wall.

"I've been looking for you bitch!" Cartman shouted. "We need to talk right now."

"Funny," Cassandra said. "Because I need to talk to you too, shit head."

"What the fuck is going on with AJ?"

"She's on her period."

"Bullshit!"

"Yeah she is, dumb ass."

"Okay, if she's on her fucking period and snapping at me, then why did she not snap at me last month!? Ha! How do you explain that bitch!?" Upon hearing this, Cassandra smirked.

"Did you know my sister takes mood stabilizers during her time of the month so she can control her damn emotions, especially her anger? Well, they were missing this morning."

"And you fucking took them didn't you!?"

"Yep."

"I knew you had something to do with this!"

"And you were damn right." After saying that, Cassandra pulled out the pill bottle and waved it in his face.

"Listen you tiny bitch, give me those right now so I don't have to kick your ass!"

"Hm...no." At this point, Cartman tried to grab the bottle but Cassandra was too quick for him. Eventually he got tired of trying to snatch it.

"Damn it! I wish you would just mind your own fucking business and get out of your sister's and mine." Cartman said. Cassandra paused for a while and then she thought of a brilliant idea.

"Hmmm...do you want to make that wish come true?" Cassandra asked.

"What?"

"Do you want me to back the fuck off?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"...Bullshit..."

"Only if-"

"-What bitch?"

"Only if you beat me in a bet."

"What kind of bet are we talking about?"

"Well, I noticed you actually didn't fight with my sister after she snapped at you."

"Yeah."

"You have know idea how surprised I was. However, AJ only get's worse as time goes on. So, I bet you couldn't hold back for the rest of her monthly. So if she snaps at you or even calls you names, you can't respond with any negativity towards her and that also means I hold onto this pill bottle and swipe any new ones my mom decides to get to replace it."

"I'm not doing that shit."

"Whelp, then I guess you don't want me out of your relationship with AJ." Cassandra said as she turned around and began to walk away.

"Wait!" Cartman shouted. "I'll agree to the bet if not only you get the fuck out of our relationship, but also you have to become my slave for a year."

"Deal! However, if I win you have to tell AJ you're gay." Cartman thought about the consequences, however he was so over confident that he would win and eventually gave into the bet.

"Fine!" Cartman replied.

"Excellent." Cassandra said rubbing her hands together.

"And to make sure you follow up on your side of the bet when I win, you are gonna sign a contract."

"Same goes for you, fatass."

"Great, I'll write us up a contract." After Cartman said that, the bell rang for the students to come back inside. As the kids headed back to class, Cartman caught up to Kenny, Stan, and Kyle.

"What is it, fatass?" Kyle asked.

"I was right so ha!" Cartman shouted.

"Right about what?" Stan asked.

"Cassandra being behind AJ's behavior." Cartman responded.

"...Stop lying Cartman." Kenny sighed.

"Yeah, AJ is only being a bitch because she lost her mood stabilizers." Kyle said.

"Wait a minute, AJ's on mood stabilizers?" Kenny said. "None of you said that shit!"

"You didn't over hear that part?" Stan asked.

"No!" Kenny said. "If I knew that AJ lost her mood stabilizers, I would have suspected Cassandra had taken them instead. You guys didn't put two and two together?"

"Neither did you!" Kyle said.

"Hey! I didn't know!"

"Hey I was right! So fuck you all!" Cartman shouted.

"Well you weren't right about everything." Stan said.

"Yeah, you didn't believe AJ was on her period." Kenny said crossing his arms. "So admit you were wrong about that."

"No, technically I was right because Cassandra was behind it."

"How about you four shut the hell up and come to class." Mr. Garrison said standing in front of the fourth grade classroom. The four boys looked around and realized the hallway was completely empty. They exchanged looks and then they went to class.

School went by with a breeze and Cartman went to his last day of after school detention and sat down. _This is going to be easy as hell. I wonder what I will make Cassandra do first as my slave, maybe I can make her clean my toilet or have her do my laundry._

"Cartman?" Craig asked.

"Hmm what?" Cartman said escaping his thoughts.

"Dude, you okay?"

"I'm fine Craig."

"Well I thought I'd ask because you didn't come play kick ball with the guys during recess."

"I had serious business to take care of."

"What business?"

"None of your business!"

"Fine, I was just asking." After saying that, Craig went to his assigned spot in detention as Mr. Mackey took attendance. When Mr. Mackey finished attendance and sat down to read a book, Cartman pulled out his phone along with all the other students. There was one message from Butters and Cartman opened it.

 _Hey, I just wanted to tell you that Kyle told Lana and I that you were right about Cassandra being behind AJ's behavior. Lana told me to tell you that she is going to take care of it._

Cartman rolled his eyes. He had yet to tell anyone about the bet between him and Cassandra and he certainly didn't want Butters to know about it first, so he typed back.

 _Tell Lana that I can handle this myself and I don't need her help. I'm not a fucking pussy._

About a minute passed, when Cartman's phone displayed a reply from Butters.

 _I'll tell her you said that..._

Cartman was about to type back when a message from AJ appeared.

 _I'm sorry for snapping at you today...:'(_

Cartman responded as soon as he read the text.

 _Look, it's fine. I know what's going on with you._

AJ responded back in a couple of seconds.

 _Yeah, Kenny told me that you now know. Listen, I want to make it up to you._

Cartman raised an eyebrow and wrote back.

 _What do you have in mind?_

AJ typed quickly and responded.

 _Whelp the fourth grade class are meeting at Whistlin' Willy's for pizza tomorrow night and I was hoping you were coming...As my way of making it up to you Car Car, I'll pay for you._

Cartman didn't really want to pass on free pizza so he replied.

 _Hell yeah I'll be there._

The rest of detention blew by and eventually Cartman was walking home. He passed AJ's house and he was completely unaware of what was going on inside.

When Lana had gotten home from school that Friday, she didn't care what Cartman said in his text. She was going to get involved whether he liked it or not so AJ could go back to herself. She entered Cassandra's room, shut the door, locked it and began crossing her arms. Cassandra looked up from her dolls,

"Hey Lana," She said. "How-"

"-Stop it!" Lana interrupted in a very strict tone.

"What?"

"What you are doing to try to piss Cartman off, stop."

"So you know about me swiping the pills?"

"Yes! So does Stan, Kyle, and Kenny. Give the bottle to me Cassandra."

"No!"

"Cassandra, I mean it! You think you're hurting Cartman, but you are also hurting AJ too."

"No, I'm helping AJ. She finally grew some balls for once."

"But-"

"-But nothing, Lana. You know that what I said is true."

"...I know it's true...But you seriously need to stop. Otherwise, I'll tell your mom."

"I thought you would say that, you tell my mom and I tell the boy who you have a crush on that you like him."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me." Cassandra then pulled out Lana's diary from her pocket. "I've done my research."

"How did you-"

"-Find a better hiding place for your diary Lana."

"Give it back."

"Fine." Cassandra handed Lana her diary back. "But you and I both know that if you tell on me, the boy you like will see your latest journal entry about him."

"No, you wouldn't."

"Already have the pages in my phone. It would be a shame if he found out you wrote a whole two pages about how you would love to lick whip cream off of his face."

"...You win." Lana sighed. "I won't tell your mom."

"Good, glad you see things my way Lana."

Lana left Cassandra's room upset and went into her shared room with AJ. AJ was still searching around her room.

"THAT'S IT I'M DONE LOOKING FOR THEM!" AJ shouted. Lana looked over at AJ and felt it was best not to respond. "I'm just gonna ask mom to get me more when she gets home." Then AJ left the room to go down the stairs to watch TV. _Thank god._ Lana thought. A knock at the window startled Lana, of course it was Kenny again trying to get in. Lana let him in.

"You seriously need to use the front door." Lana said.

"I know, but I like scaring the shit outta you. It's funny." Kenny replied slyly causing Lana to glare and then smirk. She shoved him playfully and said,

"It's not funny."

"Yes it is." Kenny said smirking.

"Okay, so what brings you here?"

"How was your talk with Cassandra?"

"Ugh..."

"It's okay you can tell me."

"There is really nothing I can do." Lana sighed.

"What do you mean?" Kenny asked.

"She black mailed me."

"That bitch!"

"I know."

"Can I ask what she black mailed you about?"

"Ugh...I don't want to tell you."

"Oh, it's that bad?"

"Yeah...I really don't want to talk about it."

"Oh, then just forget I asked." Kenny felt bad for Lana and he didn't want to continue this conversation about Cassandra any further so he decided to change the subject. "So, you're coming to the pizza outing tomorrow night?"

"Oh I don't know. I mean I was invited but-"

"-You should seriously come. Come on, you just started coming out of your shell, don't crawl back inside." Kenny then put his arm around her shoulder. "Also, the pizza is really good."

"Okay fine." Then Lana smiled.

"Cool! I guess I'll see you around." Kenny then turned to leave and this time he went out the window and down the tree completely ignoring the advice to use the front door once again.


	7. Chapter 7

Saturday night rolled around quickly and Lana, AJ, and Cassandra were waiting to be picked up because they were carpooling with Wendy.

"I can't believe I lost a brand new bottle." AJ whimpered.

"Aunt Vickie was pretty pissed." Lana replied. "...AJ, are you sure you want to go tonight?"

"Of course my super duper awesome cousin." AJ smiled.

"Well I was actually thinking that you don't."

"WHY!?"

"Because remember the conversation that you, Butters, and I had yesterday at school?"

"Yes."

"Remember how you said you didn't want to risk losing Cartman's affection so you went to detention early to avoid any conflicts with him?"

"Yes but what does that have to do with this?"

"Isn't it the same thing only the pizza place is the school's cafeteria?" Upon hearing this, Cassandra chimed right in.

"No not in the slightest." She said. "Besides, I'm sure my big sissy wouldn't want to cancel at last minute. That's rude."

"Cassandra's got a point." AJ said.

"But what if you lash out?" Lana asked.

"I'm sure she won't." Cassandra responded. "Stop worrying Lana." Before Lana could respond, their carpool had arrived and Cassandra and AJ were already getting inside. Lana sighed and went to the car and got inside.

Inside the car, was of course Wendy and Bebe as well.

"Hey." Wendy said. "Oh I didn't expect Cassandra to come."

"My big sissy had to take me with because my mom is going out tonight."

"Oh, okay then."

"So, what's been going on with you girlies?" AJ asked.

"Not much." Bebe said. "Except, Wendy got stood up by Stan."

"BEBE!" Wendy shouted.

"What?"

"...I'm sorry to hear that Wendy." Lana responded. _I bet Stan stood her up for Kyle._

"Hmmm when was this?" AJ asked.

"Last night." Wendy sighed. "I wish I had known where he was. I was going to confront him about it when we got to the restaurant."

"Oh Stan was with Kyle." AJ responded.

"WHAT!?" Wendy shouted. _Called it!,_ Lana thought.

"How did you find that out?" Bebe asked.

"Car Car, text message, super best friend sleepover." AJ replied. "Anyways, THAT REALLY UPSETS ME! Stan shouldn't have stood you up like that, Wendy." Then AJ whimpered. "It's just so sad."

"Oh he's been doing that a lot lately." Mr. Testaburger said.

"Dad, please don't." Wendy responded.

"I'm just saying."

"Pff, I'm starting to believe that Stan and Kyle are dating." Bebe said.

"I wouldn't be surprised if they were married." Mr. Testaburger added.

"Okay can we please stop talking about this?" Wendy asked. After that was said, the car went silent leaving everyone lost in thought. Wendy looked out the window of the moving car, _I can't believe Stan did this again! Should I give him another chance? I don't even know anymore. I've got to talk to him._ Cassandra looked around and smirked to herself, _Tonight should be interesting._

As the car pulled up, the girls got out.

"Bye dad." Wendy said.

"I'll be picking you ladies up around 8." Mr. Testaburger replied. After a while, the car was gone and everyone walked in to see a shit ton of tables lined up against each other. Luckily, AJ wasn't the only one who had to babysit their sibling. Craig had brought his little sister Ruby along. A lot of students were already there, but no sign of Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and a few other students. Eventually, Stan and Kyle showed up together. Kyle sat down and Stan sat down in between him and his girlfriend.

"Hey Wendy." Stan said. Wendy gave no response and only glared at him.

"Wendy, is something wrong?" Stan asked.

"...Nothing Stan." Wendy replied.

As the last few students arrived, there was still no sign of Cartman. AJ sat at the table next to her sister and was starting to claw the table.

"What's wrong sis?" Cassandra asked. AJ stopped what she was doing and looked at her sister.

"Oh nothing." AJ smiled.

"Where is Cartman?" Lana asked.

"Probably running late." Kenny responded.

"Or the fucker could be ditching me." AJ said completely changing her tone to a snarl.

"Let's not assume that." Lana said trying to calm down AJ. The last thing that needed to happen was for AJ to flip shit tonight.

"Yeah, he'll turn up." Butters said.

About a few minutes passed, Cartman arrived and his eyes immediately fell on Cassandra. Cassandra looked back with a devious smirk. Cartman came over to where AJ, Kenny, Cassandra, Butters, and Lana were sitting and took the empty seat.

"Where have you been?" Kenny asked.

"That's really none of your damn business, Kinny." Cartman replied.

"I was so worried." AJ whimpered. "I thought you were ditching me."

"I just had some shit that needed to be taken care of." Cartman responded.

"Oh so that shit was more important then me?" AJ asked beginning to flare up. After AJ said that Lana put her hand on her cousin's shoulder to calm her. AJ took a deep breath and spoke as if she had just been scolded. "I'm sorry. I know you have important things to do."

"...Right." Cartman responded. "Look, I need to steal your sister for a few minutes."

"What for?"

"Yeah what for?" Cassandra asked innocently, but knowing damn well why he wanted to speak to her privately.

"You know what for." Cartman responded.

"Oh yeah." Cassandra stood up and the two walked out of the restaurant managing to avoid the eyes of any of the other kids who were there. Kenny raised an eyebrow and looked at Lana.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be back."

"Okay." Lana said.

Of course Kenny was not going to the bathroom, come on now. He of course, slipped outside and saw Cassandra and Cartman turn a corner. Kenny approached the end of the corner and put his back to the wall and listened in.

"All right, sign it!" Cartman said.

"Hold on," Cassandra replied. "What kind of stupid bitch do you think I am? I'm not signing anything until I read this shit." Cassandra took the paper and read through everything carefully, making sure Cartman didn't try to hide something with in the contract. After reading it over and over Cartman rolled his eyes.

"Are you done?"

"Yes I am."

"About fucking time."

"Shut the fuck up you tub of lard."

"EH! Watch it you little blonde bimbo!" After calling each other a few more names, each of them signed the contract. Cartman rolled up the paper and put it away. The two began to walk back and luckily for Kenny, he was a fast runner because as soon as the two turned the corner, he was out of sight.

"What took you so long Kenny?" Butters asked. "Everyone already ordered the pizzas."

"Sorry." Kenny said. "I had to wait for some kid to leave one of the stalls before I could crap." Cassandra and Cartman walked back and sat down with AJ in between them.

"They already ordered the pizza." AJ said. "Basically, everyone is going to pay all together. So I'll pay for the both of us like I promised."

"Kewl." Cartman responded.

"So what were you two doing?" Butters spoke up looking at Cassandra and Cartman.

"Oh, nothing important." Cassandra said. "He just had something really funny to tell me...You guys wouldn't get it." _Bullshit!_ Kenny thought.

"Oh, all righty then."

Once the pizza arrived, everything seemed all right, everyone was chatting and having a good time. Lana and Kenny took a selfie together and AJ hadn't lost her cool...for now.

"My god Cartman, you're on like your tenth piece!" Kyle shouted down from his side of the table.

"Mind your business, Jew fag!" Cartman responded.

"Oh shut up, fatass!"

"Hey guys..." AJ said but was completely ignored.

"Look Kahl, I really don't want to fight you because I'm trying to have a good time, but if you call me fat one more time I will get up from this table and kick your ass."

"I'd love to see you try!"

"OH MY GOD SHUT UP!" AJ shouted. Cartman looked over at AJ, as did everyone else. "I mean seriously, can you two go for one day without fighting each other?"

"We could," Cartman responded. "But Kahl-"

"-Shut up I'm talking." AJ interrupted. Cartman wanted to holler back so bad because no one ever tells him to stop talking, but he held back. He knew AJ was not her self and he didn't want to lose the bet. Cartman shut up which surprised everyone. AJ took a deep breath and calmed herself. "You two need to apologize, otay. We are in a public place. No need for fighting." Kyle looked around and sighed.

"Sorry."

"Now you, Car Car." AJ said looking Cartman in the eye.

"...Sorry..." He muttered. Everyone was so amazed that AJ was able to get away with what she just did. People began to whisper to themselves and even Kyle and Stan looked at each other confused. Cassandra sat there with a big grin on her face enjoying the show. Lana buried her head in her arms, this was a disaster.

Time went on and the night had ended, Cartman kept his cool. He even gave AJ a kiss on the cheek goodbye which really confused everyone. As Wendy was waiting for her dad, Stan pulled her aside.

"Okay Wendy, what is going on?" Stan asked.

"What do you mean Stan?" Wendy replied.

"You have been glaring at me all night."

"Oh...that...Stan, did you know what yesterday was?"

"Friday."

"Yeah...and?"

"And what?"

"You stood me up Stan!"

"Wendy, I?"

"I was at the movies by myself...I felt like a complete idiot!"

"I'm sorry Wendy, I forgot."

"Who were you with?"

"Kyle, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Who were you with two weeks ago when we were supposed to go out to dinner?"

"Kyle."

"Who were you with a month ago when you promised you would take me on a picnic?"

"Kyle."

"That time when you were supposed to take me to Super Phun Thyme?"

"Kyle."

"That one time we were supposed to go ice skating together?"

"Kyle."

"Ugh huh."

"But Wendy, I swear! All those times were just me forgetting. I'm so sorry." Wendy looked at Stan dead in the eyes as Mr. Testaburger began to honk his car horn for the girls to get in the car.

"Stan..." She said. "I think we're done."

"What?" Stan asked.

"It's over. I can't be with someone who constantly forgets dates and would rather spend more time with his best friend than me. I'm sorry Stan, but I'm moving on." With that being said, Wendy hopped into her dad's car followed by Bebe, AJ, Cassandra, and Lana. The car drove off and Stan just stood there.

"Hey dude." Kyle said. "My dad's here. Lets go."

"No..." Stan said. "I think I'll just walk home."

As Cartman went to his room that night, he was greeted by Kenny.

"JESUS CHRIST, KINNY!" Cartman said. "How the hell did you get in my room?"

"We need to talk." Kenny said.

"About what?"

"What are you and Cassandra up to?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not stupid, what are you up to?"

"That's really not any of your business."

"Why were you guys talking about signing a contract?"

"You motherfucker, you listened in?"

"Hell yeah."

"If you really want to know, Cassandra and I are in the middle of a bet."

"A bet!? What the hell for? Shouldn't you be focused on getting Cassandra to stop what she's doing?"

"If you would let me finish, I could explain why the fuck I'm agreeing to a bet with her."

"Okay shoot." Cartman then proceeded to explain to Kenny about the bet and how the bet was going to rid him of Cassandra's constant sabotaging of his and AJ's relationship and sure, the sacrifice was for AJ to continue acting like an emotional wreck, but it would be worth it in the end if Cassandra would lose.

"So, what happens if you lose this bet?" Kenny asked.

"I have to tell AJ I'm gay." Cartman sighed.

"Whoa! Dude, you do realize that if you tell AJ that, she is going to dump your ass? Which I might add is exactly what Cassandra wants."

"Yes I'm well aware of the consequences."

"So that's why you didn't react to AJ tonight."

"Yes."

"Dude, I don't know about this. Cassandra wouldn't make this kind of bet with you if she knew she wasn't going to win."

"And I wouldn't make this bet with her if I knew I wasn't going to win."

"Cartman...all I can say is...good luck." Kenny was about to leave when Cartman stopped him.

"You will not tell anyone about this bet."

"Fine. I promise I won't tell anyone." Kenny responded. _Ha! What a dumbass!_ Kenny thought. The hooded blonde had his fingers crossed.


	8. Chapter 8

The ride in Wendy's car was silent until Bebe spoke up,

"So Wendy, what happened with you and Stan?"

"We broke up." Wendy responded with a sigh.

"Oh...sorry to hear that." Lana said. _Never would have worked out anyways. I mean come on now._

"Good for you Wendy." Bebe said. "You know it was for the best."

"Yeah!" AJ shouted in agreement.

"Now all we need is for AJ to break up with Cartman." Cassandra mumbled.

"What was that Cassandra?" AJ asked.

"Oh nothing." Cassandra responded.

As soon as Kenny arrived home and took out his crappy flip phone and quickly wrote a text to AJ but then stopped. _Should I really tell AJ? She would be so crushed to find out her sister and her boyfriend made such a horrible bet._ He thought. Kenny deleted the text and shut his phone. _I know I crossed my fingers and all so I'm free to tell her about this with out guilt, but is that really going to help the situation? No, probably not. I think it's best if I just stand by and see what happens._ Kenny sighed and took off his coat and crawled into bed and checked his Facebook. The trending topic, Stan's relationship status being changed to single. Kenny raised his eyebrows and immediately texted Kyle.

 _Kyle, did you see Stan's Facebook status?_

 _Yes, I did. I guess that answers the question of why he decided to walk home._

 _Dude, are you going to go see him?_

 _Yes, I was thinking we go over and see him at his house tomorrow. I'm starting to worry. As soon as I saw the post, I immediately texted him and he completely ignored me._

 _That's not good. I will meet you there tomorrow morning._

 _Thanks Ken._

 _No prob, dude._

The next day, Kenny got up and walked to Stan's house and Kyle was there as promised.

"Ready?" Kyle asked.

"Yes." Kenny replied.

The two friends took a deep breath and walked up to the Marsh's house together. They rang the doorbell and were greeted by Stan's dad, Randy in his pajamas.

"Oh Stan can't come out to play today. He's too busy moping around in his room like a wus."

"That's why we're here." Kenny said. "To cheer him up."

"Good luck." Randy replied. The two boys walked inside and went upstairs to Stan's room.

As noon had rolled around, AJ's phone went off. It was a text from Cartman.

 _I can't believe I just got dragged over to Stan's house. -_- Kenny shows up at my door and tells me he just came from Stan's. He said that I should come over to show some sort of support. I told him no and then he just fucking grabs my arm and drags me over here. Anyways, he looks like total shit. He's such a fucking pussy. He did this kind of shit the first time she broke up with him._

 _Well that sucks that you have to be there._

 _I don't see the reason why Stan is going all emo over this shit. He should be glad that him and Wendy aren't together anymore. I know I would be if I were him._

 _Hey, if you want, you can come over and we can watch a movie or something._

 _We'll see. Depends._

 _I got popcorn. :)_

 _Maybe..._

 _WHY NOT YES?! You know what, never mind then, sorry._

Cartman shut off his phone and sighed.

"I'm gonna guess you were texting AJ." Kenny said.

"Yeah I was."

"One thing I want to know is why you still have a girlfriend?" Stan said with a sigh. "You're racist, you're fat, and an asshole...Yet you still have a girlfriend. I don't understand why I have to suffer and Cartman doesn't."

"Well, I wouldn't say that." Kenny said. "In case you didn't notice, AJ has been really bitchy to him."

"What shocks me is how you're not responding to it." Kyle said. "You sure as hell responded when you made her make brownies for you because she didn't pay attention to you in detention."

"That's none of your business, Kahl! You know what, screw you guys I'm going home." Cartman left Stan's house and he went home and hopped on his bed and looked at his phone again. No texts from AJ, but one was from Lana. Cartman opened it.

 _Soooo AJ is crying saying that you turned her down to a movie._

 _That's not what happened._

 _I thought so. AJ is getting worse. She literally was saying a crap ton of horrible things about you. She was gonna post something on Facebook, but I managed to stop her in time. You're welcome._

 _You don't have to fucking help._

 _I want to. To be honest, I want you to win the bet._

 _What are you talking about?_

 _I know about the bet that you have with Cassandra._

 _Fuck! Did Kenny tell you!?_

 _No...Cassandra did._

 _Wow, she can't even keep her fucking mouth shut._

 _Look, I really want you to win the bet because Cassandra seriously needs to stay out of your relationship with AJ and if this is the way to do it, so be it. You've got the rest of today and tomorrow left, you can make it. And if you don't, well good luck telling AJ you're gay._

Cartman put his phone down on his nightstand. He was through with texting for the day. He just wanted to be left alone.Except, that didn't happen.

"Hey!" A familiar voice shouted. Cartman looked up and saw AJ standing next to his bedside. AJ hoped on his bed and now she was close enough to see that her eye was twitching.

"Ugh, hi." Cartman let out.

"You didn't come over so I took it on myself to come over to see you instead."

"You really didn't have to do that."

"But I wanted to. Unless of course...you don't want me around anymore." AJ began to sniffle.

"...AJ look, I do want you around. Fine, we will watch a movie together."

"Yay!...Now go get me something to drink you worthless piece of shit." Cartman raised an eyebrow. Lana was right, AJ has gotten worse. All he could do was stand there are reply.

"Sure." _All right AJ, you want something to drink, I'll give you that and something to calm your ass down._ Cartman went to the fridge and pulled out two cans of soda. Then he went into one of the medicine cabinets and pulled out that cold medicine he used to get Butters to sleep when he would invite him for sleepovers. He poured some of it into one of the cans of soda and he went into the living room where he met AJ, already picking out the movie.

"Here." He said. AJ took the can and smiled widely.

"Thank you, Car Car." As the two sat on the couch and the movie began, Cartman watched as AJ took a few sips and eventually shut her eyes and slept on his shoulder. _Sorry AJ, I didn't want to do this but you left me no choice._ Cartman stroked her long hair as she snored against his shoulder. Sure she was snoring pretty loud, but it was much better to hear her snore then hear her mood swings. Cartman kissed her head.

"This shit will all be over soon."

About an hour later the doorbell rang and Cartman was quick to answer leaving a still sleeping AJ on the couch. Cartman answered the door to see Lana breathing heavily.

"I ran all the way over here." Lana panted.

"Why?" Cartman asked.

"Is AJ here?"

"Yeah."

"I'm so sorry. Cassandra encouraged her to come over here."

"I'm not surprised. Yet, it's still your fucking fault she escaped."

"Where is she?"

"Asleep on my couch."

"How did you do that?"

"Night time cold medicine."

"Why didn't I think of that last night when she wouldn't go to sleep because she was staying up all night either ranting, sobbing, or laughing hysterically?"

"Well, now you know."

"Can I please take my cousin home?"

"She's all yours."

"Okay, come on Kenny." Kenny walked in and each of them lifted the sleeping girl up and walked her home. _Dude, how long has Kenny been standing there and why didn't I fucking see him?!_ Cartman thought.

As Kenny and Lana laid AJ on her bed the two faced each other.

"So, how's Stan?" Lana asked.

"Before I left, Kyle managed to get Stan out of bed and eat something." Kenny replied.

"That's good."

"I just hope Kyle gets him to show up to class tomorrow. We have a spelling test."

"Oh yeah, good thing Butters and I studied for that when I went over to his house after school last week."

"I will see you tomorrow, Lana."

The next day, Monday, the final day of this bet. Lana came to the bus stop and stood beside Kenny. Stan was standing next to Kyle not saying a word. _So cute..._ Lana thought. _Shit, now is not the time to fangirl Lana._

"Where's AJ?" Kenny whispered.

"Ughh..." Lana said. "You'll see her."

About a minute past and AJ and Cassandra were walking to the bus stop. AJ did not look so nice. In fact, she didn't look like her normal self at all. Her blonde hair was messy and her eye was twitching a lot more than it was the day before.

"Oh shit..." Cartman muttered.

"Good luck, fatass." Kyle said with a smile and patting Cartman on the shoulder.

"Shut your fucking jew mouth!" Cartman then slapped Kyle's hand off of his shoulder. As Cassandra and AJ stopped at the bus stop, Kenny looked over.

"Hey AJ." Kenny said.

"Oh shut the fuck up!" AJ said rolling her eyes. After AJ said that, Kenny looked at Lana and Lana looked back.

"So, how are you guys this morning?" Cassandra asked while staring at Cartman.

"I'm kewl." Cartman responded looking directly into Cassandra's eyes.

"I'm good. I'm ready for that spelling test today." Kyle said while smiling happily.

"I feel...lousy." Stan said.

"Oh god Stan." AJ said turning to Stan. "Quit your emo bullshit! Look, I understand that you are upset about your break up, but you need to stop being a little bitch! Man the fuck up!"

"Okay AJ, wasn't that a little bit uncalled for?" Lana calmly asked.

"WHY!?" AJ sniffled. "I can't show my feelings? You all hate me!"

"We don't hate you, AJ." Kyle said.

"Yes you do."

"No we...never mind." Kenny said.

When everyone arrived at school, everyone took notice to AJ's appearance and quickly distanced themselves. As soon as AJ got to her desk, she began constantly slamming her head against it.

"I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here." She muttered. Cartman sat down next to her. _Just one more fucking day of this shit._ He thought. He looked over at AJ, who was still slamming her head against the desk.

"AJ, why are you slamming your head against the desk?" Cartman asked. AJ looked up at him and laughed hysterically.

"Because it's fun! What do you think, bitch!?"

"I think!" _Calm down Cartman._ "...I think you should just do what you want." AJ looked at him for a long time with a creepy stare and then flat out put her head on the desk.

During the spelling test, Kyle was breezing through everything while Stan just sat there not doing shit. AJ managed to stay focused through that test, but every a couple of seconds her eye would twitch. Soon, it was lunch time and AJ was yelling at Cartman to get her food from the cafeteria while insulting him.

"It's actually kind of amusing to watch Cartman get pushed around." Kyle said as he and Stan were walking in the lunch line. "I'm beginning to think the reason why he's not responding is that he is officially scared shitless of AJ." That is when Kyle jokingly elbowed Stan which caused him to smile.

"Well I can't say I blame him." Stan said.

As the students were getting ready to go outside to recess, Cartman faced AJ.

"I'm going to go play kick ball." He said.

"Why?" AJ asked.

"Because I need to play kickball."

"Why do you need to play fucking kickball?"

"AJ...I'm going to play kickball, feel free to watch."

"Why does it always have to be about you!?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Me, me, me. That's all you ever think about!"

"AJ, you know that's not true-" Before Cartman could finish, AJ had smacked him across the face and she sure as hell smacked him hard. So hard it left an imprint on Cartman's face. Everyone stopped what they were doing and all their eyes fell on the couple. Some students had their mouths hung open. AJ blinked and her anger subsided. She looked at the hand that she used to slap Cartman with. She looked back up at him. _What...what have I done?_ AJ thought. Tears began to form in her eyes and these were legit, not the sniffles and whimpers that she had due to her mood swinging.  
"I...I'm sorry." AJ let out. As the first tear dropped from her face, she turned around and ran away.


	9. Chapter 9

When AJ was out of sight all eyes fell on Cartman.

"What are you looking at?!" Cartman shouted. "You know what, fuck every last one of you bitches." Cartman gave everyone the middle finger and left in the direction of AJ.

Outside, Lana sat on the swings alone until Kenny walked up to her and she stood up.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." Lana responded.

"You look really upset."

"Kenny, I'm beginning to regret not telling on Cassandra. Now that I think about it, Cassandra telling my crush that I like him would be a slap on the wrist compared to what has been happening."

"Yeah...WAIT! Let me get this straight, that was the black mail? Cassandra was going to tell your crush if you told on her?" Lana let out a sigh, she finally came clean.

"...Yes. She said she would show him parts of my diary too. Again, I shouldn't have been so selfish."

"Lana, you didn't know it would turn out this way. It is not your fault." Kenny then embraced Lana who hugged him back. "By the way, who is your crush?"

"Ugh-"

"-Hey fellers." Butters said approaching the two and Lana immediately stopped hugging Kenny.

"Oh hi Butters." She said.

"Hi."Kenny said.

"Do you think Eric is going to break up with AJ? I mean that's the word going around that is." Butters asked.

"Oh I wouldn't know." Lana said.

"Oh...well changing the subject, how do you think you did on that spelling test?"

"I think I did okay, you?"

"I think I did all right, Kenny?"

"Oh come on you guys know I cheated." Kenny said with a smirk.

"Wow Kenny." Lana said sarcastically.

"I couldn't help myself. I didn't study because I was dealing with Stan's boy drama all weekend. Besides, the ladies dig the bad boys."

"Not all of them." Butters said.

"Yeah." Lana said.

"Oh I know." Kenny said. "My dear sweet Lana, I know you probably are more into the goodie goodies." Lana perked up at this comment and looked at Kenny and Kenny looked at her for a long while and then something clicked and he smirked. After a few seconds, the two laughed and Butters joined in even though he had no idea what the two of them were laughing about.

Cartman walked the hallways looking for AJ. After threatening a few ginger hallway monitors, he found out where she had run off to. She was hiding out in the school basement. Cartman walked down the stairs and found her in a corner with her head in her knees.

"Okay seriously, you didn't have to run away from me." Cartman said. AJ looked up after recognizing his voice and looked away without a word. "Sooooo you're just not going to talk to me?"

"I hit you..." AJ said quietly.

"And?" Cartman replied. "It didn't even really hurt." _What are you saying!? That hurt like a uncle fucker!_ "Let's just go back upstairs and pretend this never happened."

"You're...you're not going to break up with me?"

"No."

"But, I've been such a meanie to you lately...I would think that by now you would want a girl who didn't turn into a she demon every month if she misplaces her meds."

"Listen AJ, you might have a demon period, but that's not going to stop me from liking you."

"What?"

"Look, don't tell anybody because I don't normally say this shit out loud as you already know."

"Otay." Cartman took a deep breath and sighed.

"I like you, AJ. I liked you ever since you traded me my pencil for your oreos. There I said it." AJ smiled and blushed. She got up, ran to him, and hugged him and he hugged back.

"You know I totally just remembered those cookies might have had a teensy possibility that they were way over their expiration date...by like a couple months."

"...Really AJ?!"

"What?"

"Here we were having a moment and then you choose now to tell me that those oreos you gave me might have been over their expiration date!?"

"Well yeah...sorry."

"Sorry!? AJ you don't just fucking give expired cookies to someone! Were you trying to poison me!? I can't believe-" Cartman paused, finally realizing what he was doing. He began to look around the room. _Did she see? She couldn't have, it's only me and AJ._ Cartman looked up the stairs and saw Cassandra smirking. _Of course she fucking saw._ She then turned around and left in a blink of an eye.

"Is something there?" AJ asked.

"No..." Cartman responded.

"Eric, I'm sorry. I will buy you a brand new package of oreos to make up for this."

"Fine that's fine." _Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Fuck! Shit!_

"So are you still mad at me?"

"No."

"You don't sound like you're telling me the truth..DON'T FUCKING LIE!"

"I'm not AJ!"

"...Otay then. I'm gonna go to recess."

"You do that." Within a couple seconds, AJ was gone and Cartman was left in the basement to figure out what he was going to do about Cassandra. He lost the bet. But, being Eric Cartman, he always had a backup plan.

"He lost the bet?" Kenny asked Lana at the end of the school day.

"Yep." Lana said. "I really thought he was gonna make it too."

"I know Cartman, he's not going to go through with it that easily."

"I know Cassandra, she's not so easily fooled."

"Let's just watch and see." The two watched as Cassandra skipped marrily to Cartman's locker.

"All right, you lost. Go tell her!" Cassandra said with a smirk.

"Hell no bitch." Cartman responded.

"Ugh excuse me, but ugh we have a contract that you and I both signed."

"Oh this." Cartman then pulled out the contract from his back pack. "Shit you know what, that's right I did sign it, but wait what's this?" Cartman then immediately ripped up the whole contract. "Oh dammit, no contract...so I guess I won't be telling AJ anything."Cassandra stared at him and then smirked.

"Well played...but you see, that wasn't the contract you ripped up."

"What? Yeah it is."

"Nope, that was a copy of our contract. You see when you're me, you can simply ask your sister for her boyfriend's locker combo and then steal the contract out of his backpack, make a quick copy, and put the copy in place of the real one."

"You...fucking...bitch..."

"I'm not a dumbass. I knew you would pull this shit when I won." Cassandra pulled out the real contract from her bag and waved it in his face. "Do it or I will sue you for now following a signed contract and I know it can be done because you've already done it with Kyle."

"You know what, fine. I'll fucking do it."

"Good because she's coming this way. I'll be watching." Cassandra smirked, walked away, and hid in a corner so she could have a perfect veiw.

"Hey Car Car." AJ said running to him. "My demon should be gone by tomorrow. So are we going to hang out tomorrow?"

"Yeah..."

"What's wrong...are you still mad at me?" AJ began sniffling.

"No AJ, it's not that."

"Then tell me just what the fuck you need to tell me already." AJ snapped and crossed her arms.

"AJ I'm gay." Kenny and Lana's mouths dropped open, he actually said it. Luckily everyone else was more preoccupied with going home then listening to Cartman and AJ's conversation. Cassandra giggled deviously, she had won.

"...That...that's a good joke!" AJ laughed hysterically. "For a second there I thought you were serious! Good one! I'll text you later. Come on Cassandra let's go home." Cassandra's smirk turned into a shocked expression. Cartman was shocked, but relieved and happy that AJ took it as a joke instead of seriously. Cartman smirked deviously at Cassandra, who was still shocked by the response AJ gave. Lana and Kenny both let out a sigh of relief, while Cartman had lost the bet, he didn't lose AJ like Cassandra had planned.

The next day Cassandra approached Cartman at his locker.

"That was not supposed to happen!" She snapped.

"Well, it did." Cartman responded. "So fuck you."

"You didn't make it sound believable."

"I didn't have to. Maybe you should have been more specific in the contract you stupid tiny bitch."

"Don't call me that!"

"Why? I called you tiny bitch before...Does it hurt your feelings now because you no longer have any power?

"...Just shut up and stop calling me that."

"...Tiny bitch!"

"FUCK YOU!" It was then Cassandra tackled Cartman to the ground and the two of them began throwing punches. Kids began to gather around as the two began making each other bleed. Mr. Mackey came out of his office and began to try to separate the fight.

"Stop fighting! M'kay!" He yelled.

Lana and Kenny watched this scene and exchanged looks. Lana saw out of the corner of her eye that a normal, off her period AJ was coming. She nudged Kenny and they both quickly ran to AJ and began to push her back.

"What are you guys doing?" AJ asked.

"You got to come see this...thing." Lana said looking at Kenny.

"Yeah a thing." He replied. "It's super cool follow us."

"Otay."

It had been a half an hour and Mr. Mackey had finally broken up the fight between Cassandra and Cartman. The two of them had bruises and ripped clothes.

"M'kay just what the hell was that I had to break up in the hallway, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey said.

"Cassandra start-" Cartman began.

"-Shut up Eric, m'kay! I don't care who started it! M'kay, I guess it's obvious that you two have a problem with each other."

"I don't have a problem with Cartman at all." Cassandra said. "Except he's just an idiot who doesn't deserve my sister...or any girl for that matter."

"You shut your god damn mouth!" Cartman hollered.

"Knock it off, m'kay! What's going to happen is that once every other week you will be meeting in my office for counseling sessions. Starting next week!" The two kids groaned in response. "Now get to class, m'kay!"

When recess rolled around, Cassandra and Cartman kept their distances and Lana and Kenny sighed in relief to see that.

"Hopefully, there won't be any issues at least for a while." Lana said.

"Thank god." Kenny responded. "So..."

"So what?" Kenny smirked and began pushing Lana.

"What are you doing?"

"You'll see." Kenny kept pushing Lana until he had pushed her right into Butters.

"Hi Lana." Butters said with a smile.

"Hi." Lana looked back at Kenny who was smirking.

"Lana's got something to tell you." Kenny said. "Bye." Within a second, Kenny was gone.

"What do you have to tell me?" Butters asked.

"Ugh..." Lana responded. _Oh shit he figured it out!_ "...Hey what's that?" Lana pointed to the sky and Butters turned around and ran away but ran right into Kenny who turned her around and pushed her back to Butters.

"Lana, that was not what you were supposed to do." He said with a smirk. _Crap!_ Lana's thoughts shouted.

"I'm confused." Butters said as Lana was pushed back to him.

"I guess I got to break the ice." Kenny said. "Hey Butters remember what you told me what you really thought of Lana?"

"What!? I don't remember that!" Butters said with a blush.

"Remember, Lana likes those goodie goodies."

"I...ugh."

"You...like me?" Lana asked.

"Yeah...of course I like you...we're friends after all." Butters responded with a blush.

"But you don't like like me?"

"I-"

"Oh my god..." Kenny face palmed. "Just admit that you both like each other!"

"Oh ugh!" Lana and Butters said with a blush.

"So you doooo like like me?" Lana asked.

"I...ugh..yeah..." Butters responded. "Do you maybe want to go out on a date sometime?"

"Sure."

"Great you two are together. I'm so happy for you." Kenny said.

"Wait, Kenny how did you figure out that I liked Butters so quickly?" Lana asked. "A while ago, you were asking me who I liked?"

"I'm Kenny...and when I made that comment about goodie goodies you perked up and looked at me as if I figured you out and that's when I know I did. Who is the goodie goodie you're close to? Butters."

"Damn you're good."

"Awwww." AJ said from a distance. "Did you see that? Butters and Lana got together...that is just so cute!"

"Perhaps Butters isn't as big of a loser as I thought he was." Cartman replied. "Then again-"

"-Anyways! How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, I told you the person I got into a fight with had it worse. I kicked his ass with my sweet punching skills."

"I still find it weird that you and my sister got into a fight with that same person today. We should go report him to Principal Victoria."

"He already has."

"Ohhh otay. Did you know musical auditions are in two weeks?"

"No...and I really don't care."

"Oh, I was going to audition."

"Pff Good luck with that. You're up against Wendy and whoever other bitch ass hippie who wants the lead."

"I will do my best."

"I guess I can come and watch your audition."

"Yay!"

"IF! If you let me copy your homework and maybe your next quiz."

"Deal! IF-"

"-If what?"

"If you come over to watch a movie at my house tonight."

"Now that you're not a psycho bitch anymore...sure." The two kissed and when the bell rang, headed back into the school. With so many things that had happened, more things were in store. Some good, but some bad and I mean bad. What's in store for Cartman and AJ's relationship? You'll find out in the third and final book of the Fatboy series.


End file.
